Twas’ the night before…

Day 177: I’ve had a pretty rotten week if I’m being honest. All I’ve wanted to do is sleep. My anxiety was through the roof last weekend and once that subsided at the start of this week my depression arrived. It’s a pretty standard cycle I’m becoming accustomed to so in some ways the crash wasn’t as bad as it used to be in the past. I’ve accepted I wasn’t well this week so eased off doing things I’d normally do such as hitting my 10,000 steps and my cycling / running. That might contradict the whole idea of using exercise to lift the darkness but as I’ve said before, sometimes the dip is substantial enough to knock you sideways, sucking all the energy out of you. I’ve felt a bit better today though and made sure I went out for an evening walk with my oldest daughter whilst my wife put the youngest down. I’ve had a shave, a shower and listened to some podcasts about well-being and sobriety.

Tomorrow I’ll be driving to Liverpool (about 3 hours away) for one of my best friend’s stag party. Two nights away with around 14 other blokes. I think I’m the only teetotaller in attendance and that in itself is a stressor for me. I’ve only done a few social events in the last 18 months and even less since my breakdown. The stag is a good lad, respectful and intelligent. He’s fully supportive of my decisions and is happy I’m making it. Reality is that I might need to take a step back a bit over the weekend which will be a huge contrast to the old me who would have been central to everything. He understands. He is the only person I need to think about other than myself.

So I’ll pack my running gear and head out for an early morning jog around the City whilst the lads are all still sleeping. I’ll take my headphones and book for a trip or two to coffee shops. I might even use the hotel pool. I want to socialise and I want to have fun so hopefully I will. I’ll let you know how it goes!

It’ll certainly be a different experience to that of my Stag weekend in Liverpool back in March 2012!

See you soon Liverpool!

Author: Happy Daddy

A married thirtysomething Dad of two young daughters navigating my way through life a day at a time

4 thoughts on “Twas’ the night before…”

  1. If you plan for success, you’ll do fine. What helps me in those situations is to scope out the local meetings. Know when and where, just in case. Or FaceTime a fellow AAer, bring your phone list or computer for virtual meetings. Having a plan really helps. Just knowing back up is there is sometimes all that’s needed. Check in with us as necessary, too! Good luck and have fun!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Sounds like some things to celebrate
    – making a special time for the groom
    – a run before the city wakes
    – a fresh head to enjoy a fresh brew
    – a dip and a steam
    – memories of laughter that stay
    – stepping forwards in a new you.

    Go smash it Happy Daddy.

    Liked by 1 person

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