An Ode to Fee

Day 361: It’s my youngest daughter’s birthday today. She’s just turned three. This time last year I was in a deep hole and just a few days after her birthday I hit rock bottom. Nothing of course to do with my children or wife, I was in an internal battle. I wanted to write a little poem for Fee. Maybe she will read it one day.

Mornings with you used to be a pain
Hungover and tired but never again
I hated those days, just you and me
Nothing against you though, it was me you see
Head was all over, I needed a drink
I didn’t of course now that I think
I was very unhappy, with myself not you
Life was a pain and parenting was a chew
My moods were all over, I’d want to be alone
I should have been grateful with all in my home
But depression is complex and beats you right down
Alcohol was the medicine to mask over my frown
You and your sister, your Mammy there too
You deserved better than what I put you through
I finally hit rock bottom just as you turned two
But as you turn three I’m right here for you
No more blurred vision
No more missing days
I’ve loved your third birthday in so many ways
You’ll never really know how unwell Daddy got
But I’d rather you grow up knowing even if it isn’t a lot
I still remember that day you came into my life
I was immediately in love with you and so proud of my wife
I’ve never not loved you and I’d do anything you see
To keep you safe and happy, feeling positive and free
Despite all my struggles it was me, never you
But now Daddy is better, no really, it’s true

That was hard to write but today has been a lovely day and I want more days like this not like what I used to have

Happy Birthday beautiful girl x

Author: Happy Daddy

A married thirtysomething Dad of two young daughters navigating my way through life a day at a time

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