Day 374: By this time on a Friday (17:50) in the past I’d normally be on the drink or at least be preparing to crack open a bottle. End of the working week and the start of the weekend, all that jazz. Although in fact Fridays used to bring out the worst anxiety in me for some reason. I was never sure why because for many of us Fridays are the chance to enjoy ourselves and relax for a few days if not working. I’m not saying I never enjoyed my weekends but with or without alcohol anxiety would be present. I remember sitting at the football on a Saturday afternoon and be often thinking about work on Monday – not necessarily because I hated the job but I just found it hard to switch off between work and home.
The issue with weekends (especially since marrying and having children) is that despite the best will in the world your Saturday and Sunday becomes a free for all at times and it is pretty much none stop. I would therefore feed my anxiety on a Friday by cracking open the booze and that would be me until Sunday night.
Friday anxieties don’t dominate my Fridays anymore but I suppose anxiety doesn’t dominate me in general anymore. I’m not cured but things seem to flow more naturally between work and home. I think working from home has helped in time – not in the early days when it made my issues worse, but I’m much more structured these days with how I balance my days. School run, exercise, work, time with kids, dinner, switch off…
I’ve recently started logging into a recovery meeting on a Friday evening too which has been great in reaffirming my decisions made so far on my journey. Friday used to be the gateway to a weekend of boozing so having a meeting on a Friday evening with others in recovery is now apt in maintaining a booze free gateway into the weekend.
Have a lovely weekend everybody and try to take a break from the news as much as it is awful to see. Unfortunately there is little we can do and we can only hope and pray things improve in Ukraine.