It’s my oldest daughter’s birthday today. She’s just turned seven. This time last year I was in early recovery so whilst I was sober I was still processing a lot and no doubt still distracted. I’ve always been close to my daughter but this has been the first year I can say I’ve been fully present. I wanted to write a little poem for G and just like Fee’s poem last month hopefully she will read it one day.
You will always be my first born and will forever have that place, I still remember vividly the first time I saw your face
You changed my life forever from the first time we ever met, You changed me from a boy to a man, my new role was finally set
I continued to have my struggles but I kept them all from you, I was good at being a daddy but if only you’d really knew
I’d drink to keep me smiling, I’d drink to keep me fun, I’d drink to stop me crying, drink in the bath after a run
I drank because it numbed me from the pain I felt inside, whilst your arrival, love and presence helped keep your Daddy alive
I didn’t face my demons, for years I let them win, Having you kept me going but so did drinking gin
Now I’m clean and sober, it took me long enough. My focus is on our family and making myself mentally tough
I love you more than you’ll ever know and will always be here for you, at least I know from this day on I’ll always be sober too
Family first, that’s me now and to give you a great fun life, to make memories with you and memories with Fearne and memories with Mammy, my wife
Beautiful girl inside and out, a bookworm just like Dad. We have such a laugh and sing and dance and there will be plenty more milestones to add
Happy Birthday beautiful girl x
Happy Daddy 