I might have returned from Portugal with my sobriety but I’ve also returned with Covid. No masks on the flights so guess that’s where I got it! Felt a bit fatigued and tired at the start of the week with a sore throat in tow so did a test and yep, positive. Floored me by Wednesday afternoon and spent Thursday in bed. Much better today and I put a lot of that down to the fact I’ve had three doses of vaccine (whether you agree with that or not!) – Plenty people I know have had worse symptoms so I’ll take my version any day of the week.
I know the rules have changed in the UK and we are pretty free to do what we want now regardless if we are positive or not but I still carry the conscionce of passing on the virus to people more vulnerable than me so I’ve been isolating and will isolate for the next 5 days at least. Just means I’m not going to enjoy the football tomorrow (only two home matches left in the season too!) and I did have plans to go for an Indians with my friends tomorrow evening then on to watch the Boxing. Sunday, I was meant to be at my Nephew’s Christening. So all shelved and a weekend in the house for me!
Portugal was great though and although I did have some little battles with the beast I got myself some 0% beers in the hotel room and generally talked myself round each time the temptation heightened. Rational thinking and remembering why I don’t drink and press the self-destruction button anymore got me through the daily doses of wanting to drink.
Since returning from Portugal I’ve not had that daily urge and more importantly it’s made me even more determined to never drink alcohol ever again. It wasn’t me that wanted a drink in the Algarve sun, it was the beast in my head wanting to fuck up my progress and gain back the power from me.
Well, I’m sorry. I’m in control and what I have in my life now will always be better than doing a deal with the devil and rolling the dice by having that first drink again. I know it’s not worth the risk.
Me and my wife had arguably our best ever holiday away together and it’s no coincidence it was our first holiday on our own without alcohol alongside us. I want more of that.
I’ve had some great support on social media once again whilst I was away and since I’ve returned and it is so heartwarming to read the messages from strangers around the word encouraging and wishing me well in my sobriety. One of my tweets has had over 18,000 likes which is crazy!
I’ll continue to attend my weekly recovery meeting on a Friday, continue to write in this blog and continue to engage online as long as it isn’t having a detrimental impact on my life and recovery. I’m listening to various Podcast series about addiction / recovery, reading about AVRT and things like Yoga and Running is giving me the physical lift too. It isn’t always as easy as that when the mood dips and the tools feel further away from my hands but I know they are not far away and that’s half the battle – Knowing what helps me.