Something I have observed within the recovery community is the wide range of paths people take, each one unique from the next person. We could be following the same programme or type of treatment but there will be facets of that which differ each time. I’ve been in recovery since February 2021 and in that time I have been in hospital, ‘winged it’, tried AA and now I find myself using ‘Rational Recovery’ to support my sobriety.
I will never dismiss ANYBODY’s chosen pathway because who am I to tell somebody else what they should do? How do I know what is right or wrong for them? I can give my advice from experience and will share opinions but I do this with a clear caveat – this is my viewpoint and nothing more. I don’t want to suffocate people with what I believe is right or wrong and I certainly won’t ridicule or hate on what somebody believes in.
We see it far too often in society that if somebody dares to be strong and speak up they will be abused for it. For every 10-20 people who are nice, you will have a negative reaction from an individual and surprise, surprise, which one do you remember?
I’ve had a lot of lovely feedback since I’ve been blogging and tweeting via Happy Daddy with so many people reaching out to share their experiences and how they can relate to what I’ve written. Probably 95% of all interactions have been positive but that 5% sticks. The 5% of people who can range from disagreeing and dismissing your shared words to those wishing relapse, hurt or even death on you. I’m in a strong enough place at the moment to cope with that kind of shit but there are many people out there who are not in that place.
I think we will always have this problem in society regardless of changes implemented by social media companies, which doesn’t make it right but maybe means we need to put energy into resilience and fighting back. I dunno, I hate to see people being trolled online and will intervene, just as I would in person on the street but like I say, that’s just me… what about others who don’t have that confidence?
Rational Recovery is a very direct type of recovery programme which uses the type of language which could be interpreted the wrong way by those who don’t follow that mindset. It does put me on a pedestal which attracts abuse or criticism and I get that some of the AVRT (Addictive Voice Recognition Technique) language will question the other recovery programmes people use but I’m not questioning your choices, I am just sharing the road I have taken and providing context behind how it is working for me.
My advice to everybody is to do what works for you and don’t seek the approval of others. Be respectful to everybody and their chosen pathway in life without always agreeing with it. If it isn’t impacting your life why let it bother you? That said, if you disagree with this that is up to you. No hate from me.
We evolve as well! That is a big part of our life. Learning. Not regretting, but learning. I have tried various things in recovery, some have worked and some haven’t. I’ve relapsed but I’ve also fought back. I have far more positives in my life now than I did 18 months ago. I will not drink alcohol again because it isn’t part of me anymore. It is part of my past and you know what, it wasn’t all bad – I had some great times where alcohol was involved but unfortunately those good times became less and less and I have too many scary and destructive examples to risk returning to it.
So keep being you and keep believing in yourself. Don’t compare and don’t give up. Only you can make the decisions which will lead to the next part of your journey.
(That wasn’t an order, that was a suggestion. No, screw it – Do what I say NOW!) Haha.
One thought on “Go your own way”
I came a Japanese proverb today “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down”. I guess our choice is to either not stick out or be prepared to be hammered.
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