By now you will probably know what AVRT stands for (unless this is the first time you’ve read one of my Blogs!) but beyond the word ‘Addictive’ there are some valuable ‘A’s’ that form part of the wider Rational Recovery / AVRT programme.
Today I’m going to share these eleven suggestions that Jack Trimpey, founder of Rational Recovery encourages us to action as part of our Big Plan – living indefinitely without alcohol. Our families and friends are impacted by our alcohol and drug abuse so they naturally form part of our new life. To enable this we need to make changes and close some difficult doors.
Before I start let me remind you that I’ve written about what AVRT is, how it works and why it may work for you. These blog posts are available here
Your 11 A’s
1. Approach each person in your family (and those friends closest to you) about your drink or drug problem. Don’t wait for them to say something
2. Admit your role. Listen to what your family and friends have to say about your behaviour. Tell them you became more devoted to drink / drugs than to them
3. Acknowledge the hurt you have caused others. They would have been frightened, angry, disgusted and hurt at times. But you are sober now so you can move forward with you life
4. Apologise by saying sorry. Words might mean little to your family and friends by now but start with an apology and your actions will make the difference in time
5. Absorb their anger. Your family and friends got fed up of your using and behaviour long before you did. Let them be angry. Absorb it. It’s the least you can do
6. Ask how you can help. We can’t undo what is done but we can be involved in how we shape our future relationship with those closest to us
7. Assert your love by expressing your feelings towards them. Tell each person how much they mean to you. Again, we can’t change what is done but this is the rest of our life now
8. Anticipate mistrust. Don’t expect your family and friends to believe you when you say you will never drink again. Expect continued mistrust and in time, well… prove everybody wrong in a good way!
9. Accept that you are fallible. Don’t expect others to make you feel better about yourself. You need to develop your emotional independence so start working on you and what you can do to make you feel good about yourself
10. Adventure. Explore new activities, interests and take your family and friends along for the ride. New relationships will blossom in time too
11. Abstain from alcohol. Period.