Bye for now

I’ve taken the decision to step back from my Happy Daddy Blog and associated social media for a period of time.

It’s been an exhausting 20 weeks or so which has included my daughter being really unwell and hospitalised for several weeks, my own mental health struggles and time away from work. There are other things going on in my personal life but I’d rather not go into it at this time.

I return to work after 18 weeks away on Monday and I need to focus on that because it’s an important part of my life and something I take seriously. It will give me routine and something to get my brain engaged with other than being a parent.

Unfortunately I’ve chosen to drink alcohol again, albeit I picked up on Thursday when on my own and haven’t drank since. Some will say it’s a wobble, others will say it’s a relapse. My parents will say it’s fine because it was ‘just’ cans of Guinness. Others will say I’ll never change. Whatever you think or want to label it, I chose to consciously do it and once again I let myself and others down. Its on me.

I’m safe, I’m sober and I’m focused on the next stage of my life which involves some big changes. I’ll be back blogging soon but in the meantime look after yourself and live your best life.

The Rational Recovery Book

When you first pick up the Rational Recovery book it can be daunting but as somebody who has finished it and continues to re-read it I wanted to share a few things to those intimidated by the book. The book is the only piece of ‘kit’ that you need to successfully use AVRT – No meetings, subscriptions, donations or further books. It cost me around £10 off Amazon to buy the book which is priceless compared to how much I used to spend on alcohol each week.

The book is broken into ‘Three Parts’ but first of all the Author, American Social Worker Jack Trimpey kicks off with his back story which is one of alcohol addiction and many attempts to get sober using Alcoholics Anonymous. Section 1 covers WHAT AVRT is, Section 2 takes you through the ‘course’ of HOW to use AVRT whilst Section 3 is a broader (and optional look at) Gambling, Supporting family members in addiction, the politics of recovery and various appendices.

So anyways, the book itself can be a tough read in places – especially if you are not much of a reader so here are some ‘tips’ from me around how to approach the book and what to focus on…

1. This book was released in 1996 so when the author refers to a lot of the politics in the USA around Recovery I’d take this with a pinch of salt unless you are familiar with the US Addiction Recovery landscape. I’m British born and still live in the UK (the most I’ve experienced in terms of America was two weeks in Orlando back in 2009!) It may interest some folk but for me it was irrelevant in the main. There were a few similarities to the British Health and Recovery system but I skimmed these sections which seemed to dominate the opening and closing chapters.

2. The Author writes in a very blunt tone but I totally understand why he takes this approach. To use AVRT successfully we have to want to quit alcohol and commit to never picking up again. If you can’t do this he tells you to put the book down and come back when you are ready.

3. You will be asked to answer some tough questions such as ‘Do you want to drink alcohol ever again?’ ‘Are you ready to say I will never drink or use drugs again?’- If the answer in your own head is still blurred you will be warned that AVRT will be difficult to implement. This method of addiction recovery is based on our clear ‘all or nothing’ approach.

4. The Author will refer to alcohol primarily when using examples or sharing the techniques we are to use but Rational Recovery works in the same way for drugs too. There are references and examples within the pages of drug addiction and recovery but if you see the term ‘alcohol’ or ‘drug’ used and this isn’t your addiction just replace this in your own head with your substance. I’ve never been a drug user so for me ‘alcohol’ was the constant throughout the book even if Jack Trimpey was using an example of somebody addicted to crack or cannabis,

5. Gambling isn’t the same as alcohol and drug addiction in the sense of consumption and the physical dependency that develops from it but it is an addiction nonetheless and is sometimes exacerbated when using alcohol or drugs. You can use Rational Recovery to overcome your Gambling addiction by simply following Step 4 in this blog post and replacing the words drug use, drinking, and consuming alcohol with betting, wagering and gambling. There is also a Chapter in the book called ‘AVRT for Gamblers’ which provides additional context and support.

Ultimately it’s down to you to form your own opinion of the book and the workings of AVRT. We are all different and will respond to and interpret things in our own way. What I’ve shared today is my own opinion of Jack Trimpey’s Rational Recovery book now that I’ve read it front to back and back to front and everything in between.

The Green Highlighter is optional…

For those of you reading this who use Twitter – there is a Twitter Space (an online meeting) every Friday at 18:30 GMT and is hosted by some great individuals who have used Rational Recovery to overcome their addiction to drink and drugs. It’s free to come along to and you can choose to either just listen in or request to speak if you would like to ask any questions about AVRT or share your own story. Rational Recovery is not ‘Group’ based like AA or NA so whilst you won’t have access to daily meetings using this method we have a strong online community of advocates using this recovery programme and the weekly Twitter Space (which is also recorded to listen to retrospectively) is a great optional resource to bear in mind. You can find the space by searching under the hashtag #AVRT or alternatively I share each meeting via my Twitter handle @The_HappyDaddy